Dear Atlanta...

On Friday, while walking into Little 5 Points to meet a friend for a drink, I began compiling a list in my head of reasons I dislike Atlanta. Bearing in mind that I was walking up hill and it was 96 degrees and while it is only a mile from Redwall to Little 5, it was 96 degree and up hill!

my list went something like this:

1. There are no sidewalks, and the sidewalks that do exist, end. randomly. and frequently on very busy roads. Oh, they do pick up again, on the other side of the 4 lanes of traffic with no cross walk with which to safely journey across. (the same also goes for the bike lanes which will run for 4 blocks and end with no warning, forcing unsuspecting cyclists into the regular stream of psychotic and possibly drunk Atlanta drivers).
2. For about 4 months of the year, from around mid may until mid september, I don't want to leave the house. it's one thousand degrees and there is no wind. (actually that last statement is untrue, there is wind on occasion, but it is actually hotter than the air, therefore it does not count as wind, and shall be referred to more accurately as "fire air").
3. It's humid all the time. If I leave my house on foot, no matter where I am going, I know I will be sweaty when I get there. for this reason I frequently carry a spare t-shirt and sometimes socks in my enormous bag. consequently, should my bag fall open in public I probably look like Ally Sheedy in the Breakfast Club with my crazy, sweaty hair and my suitcase sized purse full of crap.
4. there is no ocean! if it is going to insist upon being one thousand degrees all of the time, Atlanta could have at least had the common courtesy to position itself on the coast. but no, it is hours from the sea. there are lakes here, but really? A lake in Atlanta is just a large red puddle filled with ugly brown fish and bugs. lots of bugs. those big flat bodied bugs with the really long legs that skate on top the water. and mosquitos!
5. Mosquitos!
6. Should anything halfway decent or interesting begin to establish itself here, after 6 months or so it packs up and moves to New York, not even proper New York, bloody Brooklyn! (this is only slightly legitimate as I was especially annoyed on friday after being sent an email from a former Atlanta resident now in Brooklyn (I do actually like Brooklyn, but! that is not the point)).

I could probably continue with this list, but I have things to do....perhaps I should make a list of reasons why I actually like this city and continue to stay here, before I depress myself terribly and decide to up and move to Brooklyn.